black bean tacos

i have been eating a lot of tacos lately. lunch and dinner: tacos, tacos, tacos. not only are they fabulously delicious, they're low in fat and constitute a good part of the protein i need in my diet. unfortunately, i can't just eat tacos. i'd like to just eat tacos, but it's unhealthy.

today, while taking my 365 picture, i got really upset at the pictures of myself. there's a line between obsessively worrying about one's weight and just being unhappy with one's body. i'm definitely not happy with the image i see in the mirror; i get so upset at what i see and i feel defeated.

i've stopped thinking about the number on the scale for a long time now, but now i feel like i need to really step up my game and do more activity. i've been using the excuse of taking 24 units every quarter as a reason to not be able to work out more, but it's ridiculous. i can spare 30 minutes per day just to do a little bit of activity. for the next month, i'd like to spend 30 minute each day doing something, whether it's my 30 day shred dvd, a light walk (outside of running to the bus stop or on campus), or lifting small weights and doing exercises.

i've woke up hating every single day these past two weeks and i'm tired of it. it's time for me to get my life back on track and regain that sense of control because otherwise, i'm going to wallow in my own pity, continue to eat out my feelings, and wind up having to face the damages from this. there's no reason i can't be sad, but i won't let the grief take over my life or my physical and mental health. i'm really going to do something about this.